What If College Isn’t the Plan: How to Help Your Teen Thrive (DF#191)

Hannah Maruyama [00:00:00]:
What if college isn't the plan? So graduation is weeks away. People all over the country are panicking about it. And if you specifically have a high school senior that's not going to college, you might feel really stressed out, really isolated. But in this episode, we're gonna go over how to feel empowered that your child is taking a degree free path. And I'm also gonna talk about the degree free pathways again because now seems like a good time of year to do this, as well as giving you some actionable talking points for when people say things to you or when they say things to your kid. By the end of this episode, my goal is for you to feel very confident and very supported in guiding your young adult in this next season of life as they leave high school and go into the real world. So let's face head on the college stigma and then also your feelings about this because it's so generational. And because of the amount of marketing that you have been subjected to, that your parents were subjected to, and that culturally were subjected to all across the country, it's normal to feel worried or guilty if you're not pushing your young adult into college, which is really just a financial decision.

Hannah Maruyama [00:00:59]:
And the graduation season can make this really sting. Even if you feel confident that it's the right decision, it can make you feel isolated. It can make your kids feel isolated, and that is very temporary. So the one thing I really wanna drive home here is that this graduation season feeling is temporary. The lost time is permanent. The lost energy is permanent. So while other people's kids are talking about their dorm move ins and all of this kind of stuff, you might dread those conversations overhearing them and then thinking how your child feels. And then knowing that you feel a little bit almost guilty or, like, you should be pushing your child to do that.

Hannah Maruyama [00:01:34]:
But this is not the end of the world for your child's prospects. But in fact, there's actually far more possibilities, far more options for someone who thinks, acts, and lives differently. And by doing that, it's going to help your child be able to control the inputs and then get different outputs by thinking really honestly about what they want out of their life and then what they need to do to get there, something that a lot of their peers are not gonna be doing. Here, we wanna reframe the narrative because there's nothing to be ashamed of, far from it. In fact, the choice that you're making is putting your child ahead of 50% of The US population simply by not putting them in student loan debt. So do not apologize. It's not a guarantee of anything except for debt and maybe sometimes a hangover. In other words, going degree free is not a failure.

Hannah Maruyama [00:02:17]:
It's actual ownership and stewardship over your child's future, both for them and for you. And this is a huge step. And because you are paving a completely unique path, which is the answer to so many woes that young adults are going to face, you should stand firm and know that what you have done is the harder current decision, but long term, a much easier one. I was just writing about this on x this morning, but I saw somebody talking, bragging about their program increasing college acceptance rates. But, again, this is not college graduation rates. They are improving college acceptance rates. College enrollment and getting in is not a metric of success. It's not.

Hannah Maruyama [00:02:55]:
Forty one percent of those kids are going to leave. It was not gonna be worth their time, money, or effort. Only twenty seven percent of the ones who do graduate are actually gonna end up even using their degree or working anywhere remotely near their field of study. The kids who didn't really wanna go that much, and there's a lot of them. Most of Gen Z actually don't feel like they should be in college anyway, but they're on campus because they feel like they should be there because their parents told them they should be there and because they just rode the waterfall that put them there. And now they're here, and they have no direction. They have no clear plan. They get distracted.

Hannah Maruyama [00:03:25]:
They get depressed. And that's because we put them in a situation where they've not been equipped and they have still no freedom even though doing everything that they were told to do for twelve years, they graduated, they got the diploma, and now they're standing here in another place waiting to take orders instead of being able to actually think through what they want out of life and then take action. So many of your kids, when they get into the real world, thrive. And a group I see this, o play out over and over and over again, and I wish I could just plead to their parents and say, your child is gonna be so happy when they're just free of this high school. Just get them through this high school. Because outside of here, you don't have to ask permission for anything. And it's so amazing to realize that. The bummer thing is if we had taught kids that the previous twelve years, they would be in good standing when they leave, but now your child will have to unlearn those things.

Hannah Maruyama [00:04:13]:
But the thing is the kids that leave high school, you know, after they graduate, and they're able to then realize that, oh my goodness, the things that they're able to do and the lives that they are able to build for themselves are so unbelievable. And it's amazing to see once they get direction, once they understand what they're shooting for. And you as parents can help them figure that out. And at this point too, one of the things that's gonna have such a big impact on your child is the way that you support them. So this is something that you can do to equip yourself, but be ready with a proud response when relatives or friends ask about your teen's plans after they graduate high school. Because that pressure and that judgment is one so misplaced, so ridiculous. It's not their time. It's not their money.

Hannah Maruyama [00:04:50]:
It's not their energy. It's your child. It's their time, their money, their energy. Sometimes your money, your time, your energy. And if your child is making a different decision to get an outcome that they want, then stand up for them. For example, she's exploring her interest working at this job and getting real world experience. If this is me, I'd probably be a little bit less gracious about it, and I'd probably say, which is a lot more than your kid doing spending $40,000 a year. Or he's starting an apprenticeship in cybersecurity.

Hannah Maruyama [00:05:15]:
We're super excited for him. And you can say that, but this is where using the degree for pathways is gonna come in. I'm gonna go into this in a minute. Keep it short. Keep it upbeat. You don't owe anyone an apology or any long explanation unless they're curious, which actually this is one of the things that I've heard a lot of launch program parents say is that when they start talking about what their child's doing, other parents ears will perk up, like, from across the room. And they'll go, wait. What are they doing? What is that? Because they're all looking for something better.

Hannah Maruyama [00:05:39]:
Because the dirty little secret about college is that people that send their kids to college aren't actually excited about sending their kids to college. The key takeaway here is to stand up proudly. Just like you'd celebrate a college enrollment, celebrate your child's decision to create their own path, build real things, go into the real world, get real work, learn real skills. And when you project that confidence, you'll find that they do too, that other people's questions fade into the background, and that the support around you grows and that curiosity will too. And this is something I've seen happen over and over again. But you're parenting boldly, and that's something that you should be extremely proud of. And this is actually a useful thing that I wanna go over again. Because, again, this seems like the time of year we should go over this.

Hannah Maruyama [00:06:19]:
And because the people who are going to be curious about what your child's doing are going to ask you, well, what can they do instead? And so this is how you're going to answer them. There are five degree free pathways. And so one of the biggest concerns other parents are gonna have and questions that you can help them with is about whether their child can be successful and happy without a degree. And the clear answer is absolutely yes. Would you already know if you listen to this podcast, but there are many many routes to a stable, fulfilling life and a really great career outside of buying a college degree. And I'm gonna go over these again because it we cannot go over them too often. The five degree free pathways. The first one is going directly into the job.

Hannah Maruyama [00:06:55]:
Get a job. Literally any job, entry level roles. Take your child to the small business chamber of commerce around you. Get them around small business owners. Go apply to entry level roles that are open at smaller regional companies around you or even large companies that are around you and see who will hire your child. Your child should be applying to jobs that college graduates are gonna be applying to in four years. The reason is because it's gonna be the exact same jobs. And right now, the market is saying that they would prefer your child, your 18 year old child who's interested, engaged, and wants to learn and does not have any of the entitlement that's taught on college campuses and without the debt because they're actually able to take a entry level or earning wage, have them start there.

Hannah Maruyama [00:07:32]:
The amount that they can get done in four to six years is staggering. They can have an entire career. An entire piece of their career block will be done before those kids ever get out of college, and your child will already be ahead, already have sales skills, already have people skills, already have professional network, already have references. And it's gonna be so much easier for them in the long term if they can actually get that professional experience. And the other thing is that they're changing jobs. You know, they work at a property management office for a year or two, and then they move into real estate or they try to be a broker. All of that during their early twenties is a fantastic time to do all of those things. That's when you're supposed to be doing it.

Hannah Maruyama [00:08:07]:
The second option is paid on the job training or apprenticeship. Find paid on the job training or apprenticeship. Look near you. This is not just trades. I know that everybody talks about the trades nowadays. Oh, we need electricians. We need plumbers. We need HVAC.

Hannah Maruyama [00:08:20]:
And you'll hear these things over and over and over again. But I'm telling you right now that there are other things. You just have to look. And the reason I can't give you exact specific examples is because somebody in Rhode Island versus somebody up in Alaska versus somebody in New Mexico versus somebody in Florida, somebody in California, somebody in Texas are all gonna have different things available to them because of the way states and federal governments outlay these resources, but also what companies are located regionally. So a good example of this is you might have an ocean spray factory in your town, and those factories are going to have all different types of jobs that train on the job. You might have cheese maker somewhere else. You might have more of a fishery industry or an oyster industry. It just depends.

Hannah Maruyama [00:08:59]:
And I'm using, like, ag food resources here as an example, but they're not all four year trade schools. Also, don't just put your child into a four year trade school or a two year trade school because that seems like a safe option if you haven't thought through what they need first. Think through what they need and then figure out if a trade is gonna fit those things and then enroll them in the trade. Don't do that first. And then also check to make sure that you've weighed very carefully all of the different trade options where you are because oftentimes there are tons of those and people will overlook the right ones and overlook different programs because they just didn't know and they didn't know how to do the research. So don't just take the first available one, call, vet. This is something we do in the launch program, but I highly advise other people take the time to do this as well because it's really important to make sure you have a full understanding of what menu you're choosing from before you dial it in. So with your child, sit down and like, okay, you you do wanna be a Walter.

Hannah Maruyama [00:09:49]:
Okay. Great. Well, this company hires and trains locally. Okay. Well, this is a trade school program. You know, this is a boot camp, but it'll put you into a job placement. And then make sure that you've gone through, okay. What's the timeline here? What's the cost here? What's our family budget here? And then what's the most interesting way for you to learn specifically of these three options? And make it simple, but understand that you you have the full picture of what the options are instead of just picking one because it's welding and it's at the local trade school.

Hannah Maruyama [00:10:15]:
That's not always the best option. It's not always the best quality, but sometimes it is. And you just have to look where you are to actually ascertain whether or not that's the case for your child. Number three is earn a license or certification. We've talked we talked about this one at length, but in today's skills based hiring economy, this is where it's at. This is notary publics. This is court reporters. This is pilots.

Hannah Maruyama [00:10:34]:
Yes. For airlines. This is, actuaries. This is Salesforce, HubSpot, marketing certifications. Look for things that are directly applicable. One of the things that I do find happens with parents who are looking for certifications, don't let your child fall into the certification for certification's sake trap. So So basically, what I mean is when you're looking, you still have to go through what do they need, what do they want on other work. Okay.

Hannah Maruyama [00:10:59]:
Now we've got that list. What jobs fit that? Now that you have that, what jobs are are they most interested in? Okay. Now you still have to take those jobs and you have to go and look at actual job listings currently, where they want to live, be that where you live now or somewhere else, and see what companies are actually hiring for. The only thing you should be ignoring is degree requirements. You need to be looking at licenses, certifications, and skills. Look and see what they're actually asking for. Do not just go get a design certification because it looks like a good one and it popped up on Google. If it's the specific one employers are asking for, it's because they need them to know how to use a specific software.

Hannah Maruyama [00:11:33]:
That's the reason it's useful. It's not useful because it's a design certification. It's useful because that company pays a lot of money to use a specific type of software. And because of that, they need your child to know how to use that software to do the work that they would do. That's the reason it's useful. And once your child figures out what industries use what softwares, because you're gonna find that it's often reoccurring, have them go in and build a portfolio of work. This is the same thing theoretically that they'll be doing in college except for they don't really do it. And your child can have that done within six months for almost anything, software, design, drafting, all kinds of things.

Hannah Maruyama [00:12:07]:
Sample projects are such a great way for them to use the skills that they're learning and then actually practice those things. This can be data, cybersecurity, design, marketing, medical tech, but focus on actual credentials that are either legally required or often show up for specific industries, like national licensing bodies that tend to be in charge of certification or standards for that industry. You'll be able to tell which ones these are as you go through more research about which jobs fit your child's needs. And the fourth degree group pathway is build or buy a business. And this is a lot easier than a lot of people think, but this is such an important one because in your local area, I promise you there are different businesses for sale. The easiest illustration of this is a landscaping business where your child can quite literally drive a lawnmower and they're for sale, and you can buy them, and they don't cost that much money. And your kids are often digital natives simply because of their age. And they're able to do marketing, and they're able to post, and they're able to do things that other people aren't able to do.

Hannah Maruyama [00:13:02]:
Buying a business is a great way for them to learn so much, but there's just a ton here. Initiative, budgeting, marketing, customer outreach, problem solving, things that they don't teach MBAs anymore. And it doesn't matter how small it is. Your child, especially if it's something that's simple and scalable, can grow it if they want to. That's how so many amazing entrepreneurs have gotten their start. And the ones who are really successful, you don't even know you don't even know their names. They just run really good companies that make them a good living and leave them alone. And your child, that might be exactly what they want.

Hannah Maruyama [00:13:32]:
And they'd be in great company because lots of people run businesses that way, And they start small. But even starting a business, while doing any of the other degree free pathways, your child might wanna start their own business. That could be something that's service based or product based, but Ryan and I usually talk about starting a business that's service based simply because it's something that people can't do for themselves. So it's a little bit easier to understand. It's a little bit easier to work, teaches you more of the sales process, and also has you a little bit more accountable for the end result so you can really feel the outcome of your work. And word-of-mouth typically spreads a little bit easier with these two. And the fifth degree free pathway, as you know, is learn a skill. And this ties into all of the other things, but a good example where you might see this really shine is learning sales or learning public speaking.

Hannah Maruyama [00:14:18]:
So if your child is going to, let's say start a business or build a business, or they're going to try to get their first job, one of the things that can really help them and put them ahead is the ability to speak in public. So many young people cannot speak in public. They cannot look people in the eye, and that is a huge barrier to them advancing. And it's also almost like a superpower if you give it to some kids. And so putting them in Toastmasters, which is usually either free or very low cost locally, is such an amazing way for them to hone their ability to speak to others, to present, to articulate themselves clearly, something that you will not find on a college campus. And so teaching them how to do that, especially in a group where there is a mixed age range. This is one of the things when people talk about the network and the value of college. I I almost laugh.

Hannah Maruyama [00:15:04]:
I just don't think that there's nearly as much value, and I don't think one could argue there is in speaking and presenting a PowerPoint presentation in front of other 18 year olds as opposed to a group of people who are of mixed ages, mixed backgrounds, and mixed level of professionalism, especially when they're sales professionals or finance professionals who are in this to develop their professional skill set, you're not gonna get the feedback that you would get from those people. And you're not gonna form the local connections that you're gonna form. And you're not going to get the ins that you're gonna form. Toastmasters is one of the best kept secrets in our entire country, and I believe everybody should be doing it. So learning a skill, especially one that makes them uncomfortable or that they're not very good with, is a great way to use this time. I just did talk to a young man who said that he had been working he was working in a movie theater. And at the movie theater, they have a restaurant bar. Some movie theaters have those now.

Hannah Maruyama [00:15:54]:
That wasn't a thing when I was a kid, but now you can you can eat and have a drink at the bar. And so he was able to bartend while he was working at this movie theater. And he had said and so funny because working with this young man, he was hilarious. He had great comedic timing. He was charming. I was like, oh, wow. What a great personality he has, and how hireable he's gonna be. And what's so interesting about this is I asked him, you know, how did you, like, how did you hone this? Because he mentioned that he used to feel very socially awkward.

Hannah Maruyama [00:16:20]:
And he said, oh, well, I just worked, you know, I was working, you know, working service. Working service industry was the only way I got over it. And I said, interesting. Because that's not the first time I've heard that. And I myself, while not shy, definitely learned a lot of how to speak and interact with people in a quick way and problem solve while working in restaurants. And so one of the things your child really needs to do is go into clear goal of what they need to fix, what they need to learn, or a gap in their knowledge where they can build a skill that they are either really proud of, that makes them money, or that fills a gap that they currently have in their personal stack of skills as a human. And also, there'll be a great deal of satisfaction if they get to the end of that year and they've actually accomplished that. And like I said, speaking is a big thing, but it could also be language learning.

Hannah Maruyama [00:17:05]:
It could also be physically fixing something, and all of these things are great options for learning a specific skill. But as you all know, this whole college is the only way to success is just so outdated. College attendance rates have been falling. College itself has been failing. And anybody who looks at a college campus right now and really feels inspired that this is a good place for our young people to be, well, alright. I don't. Most families recognize that a four year degree isn't a guarantee of a job or happiness. A lot of people just feel that they have to do it.

Hannah Maruyama [00:17:32]:
And so the amount of relief people experience when you tell them, you don't actually have to do that, and there's a better way. And the better way is just strategy, and it's accessible for any and all families across our country from any walk of life to help their child tailor their education, their careers according to the way that they wanna live their lives. And that is such a freeing thing. College is always gonna be there, and if they decide to attend, they can go later. It's not now or never, despite what high school marketing says. In the coming weeks and months, there's gonna be ups and downs as they find their footing. But the important thing is that right now, they're moving forward in a way that fits them, and they have your guidance, and that is a very strong safety net. So just keep reinforcing the positives.

Hannah Maruyama [00:18:12]:
Be there when you can. Enjoy watching them grow as they actually start to get into the real world. Expect that they're gonna learn things and figure things out a lot faster than your friend's kids because they have a lot more freedom. So whenever you feel a little bit of worry, remind yourself of that, and your confidence is gonna become their confidence. And whenever you need that reassurance, just know that there's a growing community of degree for families across the country cheering you on. If you'd like personalized help with your graduating high school senior, check out our website for the degree free launch program, degreefree.com/launch. It's a really great way to get a customized road map where I was talking about the tomorrow step by step and also the long term vision. The link to that will be in the show notes as